Goodies Gossip – COMEBACK TOUR ‘Harbs’ Rant’
Goodies Gossip G’Day Trendsetters keen reporter Luke Habel here! Well a lot has happened since the 2nd March, 2012 which was the last time the great man Trent ‘writers block’ Goodrem but pen to paper! So I thought I would take it upon myself to try and ignite this segment back and spark Trent into making a comeback. I think his morale has been shot ever since our fearless CEO Kris ‘Wedge’ Grant said “Trent no wonder your handwriting is no good you hold the pen like a crow bar dipped in tar”
I have taken it upon myself to try and restart Goodies Gossip back to its so called ‘Glory Days’ (as Trent puts it) because ever since the great man has left CDFC/SANFL in a working capacity, he now works as a Sales rep for RMA Packaging which is owned and run by the great past on-baller Ricky MacGowan no issues have surfaced! Now technically it shouldn’t be called Goodies Gossip if I am writing it but because Trent is having a good year on the footy field he thinks naming rights should be kept (which is fair enough).
The season so far has been an interesting one as we currently sit 5th after Round 16 with a great challenging run home towards September. We have a much more inexperienced side than previous years but it is fantastic that we have been able to blood so many new players into both our Reserve Grade and Senior Team! Our list of League debutants is remarkable up until this point; Josh Glenn, Dylan Hewett, Tim Meulendyks, Dallas Hill, Sammy Milne, Jackson Potter, Jake Martin, Seb Guilhaus, Ben Dowdell, Ben Cummings and Brock Castree. All these players are great sign for the future and doing a fantastic job!
I will give a little insight into some of our recruits that we have picked up in the off-season on a more personal level:
#1. Seb ‘Sebatron’ Guilhaus – One of the biggest blokes I’ve ever seen and although he is a strange cat at times he is a legend and knows how to tell a joke (so he thinks). Has had a great year to date carrying the workload in the ruck. Also if you didn’t know the big fella won the ‘Is your rig as good as Majak Daws’ competition that was on Triple M recently. And for all that don’t know yes Brayden O’Hara did dob him in!
#7. Jackson ‘Pottsy’ Potter – My current co-worker here at CDFC is really hitting his straps now after a disrupted pre-season. Pottsy is a very dedicated footballer and also a very hard it no frills customer on the footy field. His only downfall is that he thinks he’s funny but in all seriousness I would rather watch paint dry than listen to some of his stories.Pottsy has also joined the CDFC dog club with a dog that he rescued from the Animal Welfare League called ‘Jett’. His old man has been over a few times from Sydney who is an absolute gentleman and yes his name is Harry Potter. And for further clarification yes Pottsy does dress up in a black gown, draw a lightning bolt on his noggin and pretend to ride a broomstick around home.
#15 Sammy ‘Pinga’ Milne – Now to clear his nickname up straight away the reason he is called ‘pinga’ is originated from his glory days back at the best country club in the world Ganmain Grong-Grong Matong Lions! Sammy trains like he plays – at 100 miles an hour and all the boys use to say back home that he trained and played like he must have been on drugs! Now sorry ladies but Sammy is already taken falling in love at Uni on his first day with a lovely girl called Hannah. He is very smitten about this and apparently puts that many smiley faces and x’s and o’s in a text message which is beyond a joke.
#21 Timothy ‘I’m just a shy country boy from Hamilton, Victoria’ Meulendyks – Where do I start with Meuly (or melon dick as some of you legendary supporters call him!) I could write a whole article on this young bloke who has come over from country Vic to better his footy. He is a very smart, old fashioned and skillful footballer that has the potential to be around the club for many years to come. He is my new housemate and I will have to say is a belter of a housemate and can cook a great feed! He is very mature for his age and falls in love with someone different every week! Has become the club clown taking over the #21 from another great larrikin. One of his finest moments is telling the boys his pick-up line now that he is in the city is ‘How ya goin love whatta you do for a crust?’ pull your head in Meuly it doesn’t work!
#22 Dylan ‘John Platten hair’ Hewett – Dyl is a fanatastic bloke and has so much raw ability coming from Port Broughton in country SA at the start of the year. Has one of the best leaps I have seen and can take a huge grab. As for his fashion sense – and yes I do where joggers with jeans and know that it’s cool – he is let’s say ‘outlandish’ with fashion!. Unfortunately Dyl has been struck down with a hip injury that has affected him most of the year.
The under 18’s that have come up this year for pre-season and playing as well have been a great group of kids! Honorable mention to Anthony ‘Simmo’ Simpson for his BOG performance on our footy camp to Victor Harbor at the start of the year. Simmo wasn’t afraid to get in and mix it with the senior players and is a very funny man. For all you people on social media start following Tommy ‘Crisp Tweets’ Ryan who has an unbelievable knack of creating funny hashtags on twitter.
There has been a lot that has happened in the past year and a bit which I will try to remember:
1. James and Christie Gowans are expecting their first child late in the year!
2. Scott and Emma Dutschke now have a little boy called Arli!
3. Paul & Rachael Thomas have a little footballer called Austin who has recently turned 1.
4. Ian and Lauren Callinan have welcomed in little Harry who has also recently turned 1.
5. Trent Goodrem and Kyle ‘Fat Boy’ Jenner’s love hate relationship is blossoming to new heights. I am actually a big Alfie Jenner fan as we regularly take Trent on 2 v 1 in the gym in regular wrestling matches and make him crawl into the corner in tears (actually it is normally myself v Trent and he destroys me and Alfie comes to my rescue!)
6. Jackson ‘Baldy’ Baldwin has one of the best/worst haircuts I have ever seen!
7. Paul Thomas has unofficially become the mayor of funkytown (Elizabeth) and also the real reason why he missed a week of footy against Westies is because he cut his hand on his iPhone while tweeting someone on twitter. The guy is addicted to social media #growup
8. Yves Sibenaler is now engaged to the lovely Amy. Big Evil is a strong and large as I have ever seen him. I actually think he sleeps in the gym with a swag and does midnight workouts!
9. Assistant Coach Nathan Steinberner and his wife Lucy have had 2 little twin boys recently – no they didn’t call them Chris and James for some unknown reason.
10. Assistant Coach Gavin Chapin and his wife Vicky have welcomed little Addison into the world. Rumour has it that Chappy wanted to still call her Gavin jnr but Vicky overturned that one.
11. For all those girls out there that keep trying to ring me, text me, email me or contact me via social media (all 0 of you) I am now taken and seeing a beautiful girl called Sarah who hails from the Barossa so stay out of my grill!
And last but not least the update about Trent and Carly’s dog Cruskit that you are all dying to hear. The rumours are true that the little pest now has a little mate called Atticus. That is right folks no typo there the dog is actually called Atticus or as Trent called him for short ‘littleAttibooboo’ – what a flog! Cruskit and Atticus’ dream run as ‘the best dogs in the world’ took a little turn for the worst when both Trent and Carly came home to find one of the leather arm chairs half-eaten. But that is a story for another day!
I hope you all enjoy the comeback tour of Goodie’s Gossip and I encourage Trent to attend some sort of counseling to get rid of his writing block for the next segment!
See you all at the footy!
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